Kick Ass Guarantee
Guaranteed to blow your socks off
We are a small group of Lumberjacks that are devoted to ensuring that every one of our customers is filled with joyous celebration.
When you open your item for the first time, don't be surprised if you experience one of the following: prolonged speechlessness; immediate unexpected bowel movements; or bleeding eyeballs.
If this does not occur, or for any reason you are not 100% satisfied, contact us below and we will make it right.
"It is enlightening to be directly contacted to make sure I have what I need and it shows that you guys care about your customers and the products. Thanks so much!"
"Amazing customer service. Extremely helpful and cordial! After help with my first order I felt compelled to immediately place another! No regrets! Love the Dog Might! "
Customer Service for Days
Our customer service team is reachable Monday through Friday, 8am to 4pm EST. We will do our best to get back to you quickly within those hours! Please allow a few days for us to respond.
We are super busy right now!
Higher than normal order volume
We are a small shop with less than 20 employees, and we’re working as hard and as fast as we can to get your order done! We understand that lead times are long right now - due to the amount of orders we are currently processing, we may not be able to give regular order updates or reply immediately.
Rest assured, when your order leaves our shop, you'll be notified via email by us first, then by UPS later that same day with your tracking number. Thank you for your patience.
Why hasn't my email been answered yet?
You aren't ignoring me are you?!
We answer emails in the order they were received, from oldest to newest. We do our best to respond as quickly as possible, but during high volume seasons it may take a few days. Please be patient - we are a small shop that makes custom goodies, not an international conglomerate.
Oh no! My address is wrong! You’re my only hope, Viking Lumberjacks!!!
Do not fret! Contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will remedy the situation ASAP.
How can I confirm the juicy details of my mind-blowing, kick ass order?
You should get an automatic confirmation from us with current lead times and a receipt from PayPal with your order deets! Be sure to check your spam folder.
Speaking of which, how is my mind-blowing, kick ass order coming along?
Our small, Viking Lumberjack team processes a lot of orders, so we don’t regularly give updates on the progress of individual orders. We take our lead times very seriously and do our best to complete each order on time. Refer to your confirmation email for the lead time on your order. All of our products are custom, handcrafted items and we are committed to quality over quantity. If we have reached the maximum on our lead time estimate, send us an email at email@example.com and we will check on it for you. Please be patient, we are a small shop and will get back to you as soon as we can!
Okay, hella, but I need my mind-blowing, kick ass order by a certain date. Is that doable?
Maybe! If it’s within our lead times, absolutely - but let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org so we can include it in your order. If it would require us to beat our lead time, then reach out to email@example.com to see what we can do. We can rush orders within reason, but it may require a rush processing fee.
Will I know when my mind-blowing, kick ass order has shipped? Can I get a tracking number?
Heck yeah! You will be notified by us first via email that your items are leaving the shop. Later that same day, you’ll get an email with tracking information from either USPS/Stamps.com or UPS.
I want to place a mind-blowing, kick ass order, but I live outside of the United States. Do you ship to my country?
Heck yeah! We ship worldwide. Shipping charges will depend on the weight of the order and do not include VAT/customs fees. Your local post will ask for those fees when the package arrives. We do not send 'free' merchandise and attempts to circumvent customs can result in heavy fines and other problems for both the company and the recipient.
There is a 'gift' designation on customs forms, which many people attempt to use, but this is intended exclusively for use in personal gifts from one private party to another, not from a company to an individual, and so using it that way is not legitimate or allowed.
As a result, customs authorities have cracked down on it and it often doesn't work anyway, just causing packages to be re-assessed as merchandise.
We comply with regulations and therefore do not attempt to skirt them in these situations - though we would love to see these fees reduced or removed to make it easier for our international friends to receive our work, and certainly support any efforts you might make to encourage your government to do so!
My socks were not blown off, my eyeballs have not bled, and my speech is totally intact. My order was not as mind-blowing and kick ass as promised. Can you make it right?
HECK! YEAH! If you are for any reason not 100% satisfied, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will perform as many blood rituals as needed to make it up to you.
I want an extra mind-blowing, kick ass order! A uniquely built wonder! Can you do that?
Probably! We love doing custom orders and are happy to make modifications to existing products. However, this can be very time consuming and expensive. If that’s your jam, though, send us an email at email@example.com and we’ll see what we can do!
Gift Card Redemption
I have a gorgeous gift card that I want to spend on a mind-blowing, kick ass order! But uh.. How do I do that?
Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the gift card number in the lower left corner along with the kick ass stuff you want to order! We’ll help you out from there.
Are you really Lumberjack Vikings?
HECK YEAH. We are a varied group of the most insane Viking Lumberjacks you can imagine. Our shop smells like wet dog, dry timber, and the blood of our enemies. Read more about us at dogmight.com/company.
My plexi is completely white (or blue, or covered in paper)?
Our plexi is covered with a protective film and / or paper. Peel it off carefully for a pristine writing surface!
I have a question that isn’t answered here. Who should I reach out to?
Reach out at email@example.com and we’ll get you on the right path!